her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
