Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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