I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
