in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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