yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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