I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
well you can't waste a boner
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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