I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
