she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
