her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm like, not good at living.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
