Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
