Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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