what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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