My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
