Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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