how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
