do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
