so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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