Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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