420 ftw
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
