My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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