About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
