If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize