trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
