Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I just threw up on my dentist
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize