yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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