How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
