maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
