Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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