found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
