so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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