booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
