Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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