why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
