why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
