I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
