2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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