please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
