Moan for me like Helen Keller
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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