We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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