Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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