Christians are straight up FREAKS
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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