Barsexuality is the new black.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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