so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
