i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize