A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
