I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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