I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
