Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
