yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
