I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
