Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
