im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
