did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
How does one acquire holy water?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
