you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
