FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
