"it" just moved
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
