the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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