i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
