my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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