Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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