i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
