Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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