She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
