I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
