I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
