google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
