my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
