Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
