Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
