She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
