yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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